Pastor Wa's Blog

Men do change. Obviously. They become fat after marriage. For the most part. Even then, Wardrobe changes are not the only big things that happen after tying the knot. Oh, and i'm not sanctioning overeating and poor dieting among men. It doesn't help that when this happens, one enters the league of 'able men', according to some shagz mudu. The fact that just because you look like a Roto water tank will open amazing doors for you compounds men's woes. More so when you are home for Christmas. You suddenly become the go to man. The 'made' man. Don't mind the fact that you may die tomorrow because all your arteries are cholesterol clogged. Nonetheless fat fathers have something else that trip up their hearts. In their endeavors to be good men that fulfill their life's responsibilities, they sire daughters. Now there is nothing wrong with that. In facts it's to be commended. Every man loves his daughters. The are cute, they are tender, they are v...

The whole feminist empower women so they can do without men Ideology leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, i'm all for assisting women get things going and become successful at business and life. It is a worthwhile effort, should be applauded, supported and given all the power it can to succeed. But when those ideals are tied together with the bra burning, men trashing, independent women only ideology that seeks to minimize men to mating agents only on the planet. I cringe at the manifold display of ignorance towards men and their role in life. Because a good cause is used to propagate a tragedy. It is true there are men responsible for some serious pain in this world. There are women who are scarred for life in the hands of men supposed to be their protectors, providers and caregivers. I weep at the mere thought of little girls molested, women with battered bodies and other unspeakable evils done by men entrusted the responsibility to care. That shouldn't be, and it must be...

Relationships take work. Lots of it. And work is tiring. Infact we all work so we don't have to work. At least most of us do.We try as much as we can to separate between work and home life, and for the most part home is viewed as place of rest. Where we don't have to work again. Or at least not in the sense of applying ourselves hard. It's a hard reality to face, but needs to be faced nonetheless, because most people don't think of their current relationships as something that needs work. The natural progression of all things is towards disrepair and damage, relationships included. So it's always kinda strange when i hear people saying, "Things are not what they used to be." *Insert exasperated look*. What what did you expect? You haven't spent quality time with him/her, you keep unforgiveness and grudges, you laugh with your friends more, you are looking around and 'admiring' the handsome ones, the sex isn't all that, they are getting ...

Establishing autonomy, space and family identity is every married man's highest ambition. Men are not strange creatures, we just receive a great deal of validation from imparting our own identity and personal signature to things we consider our own. Probably stems from the command Adam got from God to name everything, and God actually honored every name Adam gave to creation. On the wedding day, the man imparts his name to his wife. All children bear the man's name as their family name. It is an awesome experience for a man when he sees his lineage going out there and doing significant things, because really, he figures, that it's him out there. But for this dynamic to fully be expressed and divulged in its fullness, the man must have his autonomy uninterrupted with and his freedom to express himself unfettered. With the current state of things due to men's irresponsibility and the absentee father, things have been going tough, especially for the married m...

Of course men do listen! While that in itself may sound like an oxymoron, (some people assume masculinity and deafness are synonymous) men do listen. For any woman to want to get through to a man, she must be willing to learn man-speak. How to talk that man's language. Before you castigate me for suggesting something else that women must do for a man, consider this.  Most men are raised NOT to be like women.  That is the single most challenging issue when it comes to men expressing themselves. We are not trying to be something, we are trying not to be something (Another whole story). So when a woman attempts to talk to a man like she talks to a woman, she will hit a wall. A brick wall. A rule you may want to consider is, think like a man to get through to him. Here's a few pointers: 1. Don't cut a man to size. Normally, when you do this, he will spend the time he should be using listening to you trying to collect his ego from wherever you knocked it. When you ...

The big debate that has raged on over time has always been, what point does the woman in a mans life hold. is she first? and if she is, are there relationships that the guy has that she cannot meddle in? and if she can't meddle, why? His job, his friends, his relaz, the kids.... bla bla bla. But the most emotive one, I've come across is the question of his mother. The mans mother. some of the biggest challenges in marriage and relationships between two people will be around in laws and especially the mother-in-law. In the African context, the mother is superior, the wife comes into the family and joins herself to them. She is not a priority nor is she as important as the mother. But really, how true to the laws of relationship and a healthy union is that principle? Every woman wants to be number 1 in her relationship with the man in her life. That rule, ladies and gentlemen, will NOT change. So when a man begins to court a woman and enter into a relationship with h...

So I was reading that Linda Muthama proudly calls herself Nyambane’s second wife. He is managing more than just her ‘music affairs’ as well. Has a baby by him and the usual blah blah… By the way, all this has happened a while back And of course as usual, it was fodder for the blogs and media. Worst of all, there were chics telling Linda to do what she wants, it’s her life. Now, I don’t know whether to just rant or try and put this entire mountain of a relationship stink-hog in perspective. Because something stinks. And it stinks to high heaven. Someone ought to call it what it is; Relationship bull. When a single young woman of notable influence in this country, goes ahead and becomes a second wife to a man of equal media exposure and women go ahead and cheer her on, something is wrong! Terribly wrong! You see the truth of the matter is; you single young thing, building a man, a marriage and a family is work. Loads of it. By the time you see a ‘made’ man, some of you ...