Sheesh! Give a Guy Some Space


Establishing autonomy, space and family identity is every married man's highest ambition. Men are not strange creatures, we just receive a great deal of validation from imparting our own identity and personal signature to things we consider our own. Probably stems from the command Adam got from God to name everything, and God actually honored every name Adam gave to creation. On the wedding day, the man imparts his name to his wife. All children bear the man's name as their family name.
It is an awesome experience for a man when he sees his lineage going out there and doing significant things, because really, he figures, that it's him out there.
But for this dynamic to fully be expressed and divulged in its fullness, the man must have his autonomy uninterrupted with and his freedom to express himself unfettered.
With the current state of things due to men's irresponsibility and the absentee father, things have been going tough, especially for the married man, in regard to in-laws from the woman's side. Every Many times women want to try and control everything.
So here are some commandments for all you nosy in-laws that think you should be running someones life just because they married your relative.
1. Please Call before you make plans to come over. And by that i don't mean call when you are at the gate. Call to ask the best time that can be scheduled.
2. My Shoes, clothes, food, bed, and TV are MINE, not OURS. Four letters, Big Difference.
3. If you attempt to use my wife to control me, i will be unhappy, and I will share my unhappiness with you.
4. Just because I bought my kid some Ben-10 plastic watch is not a written request for you to put down my name as Chief Guest in every fundraising committee any one of your 'friends' cooks up.
5. If i needed a shrink, I know where to go. Please quit trying to psychoanalyze me. That means then, now and always.
6. Ati you signed me up to which Chama again?
7. My wife may be from your family, but that bedroom is very sacred personal space.It's not an open play pen for any of you.
8. Please let me lead my family. That means from time to time, your suggestions and ideas will be rejected. Get over it.
9. I don't need you visiting every weekend. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. How about you go away  till August or till you are actually called and asked to visit.
10. My wife is not your baby sitter nor is my house a day care center.
11. If you ever call Maina and King'ang'i to discuss me, someone will get hurt ...

I'm just sayin...

Comments

Warhia said…
Donno how I missed this one. But that story of buying gifts then be added in every harambee back in shags from buying church plot to kutoa mchango ya mazishi, so feeling that!
October 27, 2011 at 7:34 PM
Milli said…
Ha ha ha! Well said and understood. Boundaries mean a whole lot in a marriage.
October 28, 2011 at 9:39 AM
Rapture said…
Haha! I love the brutal honesty and matter-of-fact way you put things. You draw the line well :-)
October 28, 2011 at 12:39 PM
Unknown said…
I love this article. I have copied the link to my blog for my friends to read.
May 4, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Single Ladies, Get your own man!

Image
So I was reading that Linda Muthama proudly calls herself Nyambane’s second wife. He is managing more than just her ‘music affairs’ as well. Has a baby by him and the usual blah blah… By the way, all this has happened a while back And of course as usual, it was fodder for the blogs and media. Worst of all, there were chics telling Linda to do what she wants, it’s her life. Now, I don’t know whether to just rant or try and put this entire mountain of a relationship stink-hog in perspective. Because something stinks. And it stinks to high heaven. Someone ought to call it what it is; Relationship bull. When a single young woman of notable influence in this country, goes ahead and becomes a second wife to a man of equal media exposure and women go ahead and cheer her on, something is wrong! Terribly wrong! You see the truth of the matter is; you single young thing, building a man, a marriage and a family is work. Loads of it. By the time you see a ‘made’ man, some of you
Read more

Manners Please boys

Image
First up, apologies for not posting for a while. My involvement with a new online project, plus looking for the elusive dollar has kept me away. But I'm back. So here goes! The golden age of fine wining and dining has seemingly been replaced by our quick instant lifestyles that allow very little time for anything. microwaves, email, instant coffee, MTV, Tyra Banks, Maina and Kingangi in the morning.... its all fast paced. And so has the approach to relationships become. Kila kitu ni chap chap. Including the meet-ups. We do twitter, Facebook, then Sms, by the time a week is over, we are having sex online. That's just how fast paced its become. But I'm not complaining about it, its just that now, because of how easy it is to meet someone and talk over gadgets without physically taking the effort to be there and work on the relationships, there is a group of young men who honestly have no idea on how to treat a woman. Zero Bilaz Wako dooooooooooown! So it's easy
Read more

How to talk to Men

Image
Personalities notwithstanding, there is a way to talk to Men. It may sound incredulous at first, but hang with me. It sometimes seems almost impossible to get through to a man's thick skull. It's like hitting your fist against a wall trying to have him listen, co-operate and fully grasp with intent everything you are trying to tell him. Well, here's the biggest mistake most women make in their attempt to talk to the masculine type. They talk to them like they talk to women. And it fails Every-time. Surprised? well, you shouldn't be. Men are different from women, especially when it comes to 'hearing'. By that, it's not just what you're churning from your mouth, nope. It's two critical components of any conversation. Tone of voice and body language. 1. When you talk to a man, make sure you get into his head before you start rolling. Men process one thing at a time. If a guys mind is on something, he may be looking at you, smiling at you, holding
Read more