Thou Shalt Marry Me!

I had a great time on Hope FM Tuesday night with Tessy. As we opened and shared on her show, 'Breath Of Heaven', we had opportunity to delve into some issues that deal with Singles.

As a pastor, I've always considered myself familiar with the Challenges of Young and 'not so young' singles. But spending time on the show and from the feedback we received, I realized that the wounds run deeper, the torment rougher and the loneliness unbearable.

So, I've decided to share with you some of the truths that I shared on that cold rainy night; Busting the Myths of Single hood.

Here are the Myths that have kept Many Singles Held back and Lied to by the enemy. Let's go!

1. There's a 'Particular' mate for you out there: This is hogwash! Hakuna! God never makes choices for us, and Marriage is all about choices. If this was true, then it means God is in violation of the Principle of Free will, a Cardinal pillar in the fall of man, Death and Resurrection of Jesus, and final Judgement. Truth is, There are guidelines on the qulifications of a potential spouse, but NEVER on specific individuals. No Pastor, No Leader, parent or whoever should tell you who to marry! Its your choice!

I usually have this sneaky feeling that this was invented by some 'brother' who wanted to marry a girl that  wasn't interested in him, so he played the 'God-told-me card!

2. He must be older than She: Again, this is a cultural belief, that holds no weight when it comes to marriage. Now, of course there are situations where it may not work out properly if she is way too old or too young. But i'm speaking of age differences of say 2-8 or so years. If you have someone thats slightly older, yet they are willing to marry you sister, don't allow a cultural tradition block you from having a happy, blessed and fully satisfying marriage relationship!

3. It Must Be approved by all for it to be 'Right': God gives us our hearts desires, and everyone does not have approve of your relationship. But if you've both qualified in the eyes of the Lord to be wed, don't walk around asking and expecting every Tom, Dick and Harry to Nod their head and approve! It's You getting married! If its right in both your eyes, God, close trusted friends and family, then Go for it!

Again, if you can't stand for your choices now, what will happen when you get married and have in-laws, out-laws, friends, enemies, the devil, and his agents testing you?

4. Cultural & Tribal differences define 'who' we should marry: It's not only childish and immature to refuse a relationship because she is Kikuyu, or he is Luo and their culture is like this or that, but also rude and presumptuous. If they are a child of God, then they swear allegiance to the Kingdom of God first before their tribe. Don't limit yourself to your 'own' people, just because you think they are perfect. Trust me, they aren't!

Alot changes in marriage, and even some 'mindsets' will change as you love him/her well, and be an example!

5. Ladies should play 'Hard to get': While its usually the men who take the initiative in starting a relationship, it's never wise to make things difficult for them when they approach and are willing to start a something. Many times all it does is frustrate the brothers and cause them to give up. Ladies need to be responsive when approached and invited to a relationship! Even the Scripture says if you will show yourself friendly, you will have friends!

6. Once Hurt, you will never heal: We live in a fallen world, and unfortunately, some relationships will never work, and we end up broken hearted. However, this does not mean that you can never heal. If you are willing to forgive yourself and others, you will find that even when relationships fail, can pick yourself up and move on to more successful and rewarding ones with wonderful lessons learnt! If you however choose to nurse what went wrong and sing 'Shoulda coulda woulda'? you will remain stuck in the past, and quite honestly? Itakuwa ni Shauri yako!

Go ahead, Live it up Singles! Lets get things happening!

:-)