How To talk to Men (Second Part)

Of course men do listen! While that in itself may sound like an oxymoron, (some people assume masculinity and deafness are synonymous) men do listen. For any woman to want to get through to a man, she must be willing to learn man-speak. How to talk that man's language.
Before you castigate me for suggesting something else that women must do for a man, consider this. Most men are raised NOT to be like women.  That is the single most challenging issue when it comes to men expressing themselves. We are not trying to be something, we are trying not to be something (Another whole story). So when a woman attempts to talk to a man like she talks to a woman, she will hit a wall. A brick wall.
A rule you may want to consider is, think like a man to get through to him. Here's a few pointers:
1. Don't cut a man to size. Normally, when you do this, he will spend the time he should be using listening to you trying to collect his ego from wherever you knocked it. When you use words to put a man in his place, you are creating an emotional enemy with him. He will not listen. He may look at you silently, while detesting the fact that being in a relationship with him accords you the privilege to insult him. Yes, men consider being cut to size same as being insulted. You can point out his failings but please, don't dwell there. It's painful enough for him that you saw him fail.
2. Get to the Point! Men do not care for details, unless they are sex task oriented and will help get the job done. Relational and situational details are BORING to men. Ever heard a man answering the question, "So, how was your day?" How long did it take to answer that? So the thing to do is simple. Just hit the highlights of the day or situation, what happened, what needs to be done and then be done! If you want to go on (which is OK I guess:-), make sure you give him a heads up that you will be sharing details. He can then be prepared to listen as you unburden your heart. The reason he has to prepare himself is because it takes emotional reinforcement for the male mind to attend to a woman talking about her day.
3. Pray for your man. It's amazing how it's easy to whine and complain about his communication skills yet not talk to his FATHER about it. Men need prayer. Lots of it. They face incredible challenges in and out of the home, on the road, at work, all over! Take time to pray for him. Pray for his needs. Pray for his future, his dreams and ambitions, his fears and doubts, and while you are at it, pray that God would help you be the right woman for him. Show that you care. Ask him what you can pray for, then check up on him after a while. He will be a better man for it
4. Keep Confidence: When a man opens up and talks to a woman, he is being EXTREMELY vulnerable. Since opening up is simple for women, it's easy for them to assume the same for men. But it's not. In fact asking a man to unburden his emotional side is akin to asking a woman to stand naked and blindfolded in-front of someone else. Very intimidating. So for God's sake, keep what he shares with you between you two. Unless he explicitly allows you to share it, don't tell. Not to your girlfriends, mom, colleagues, not even his man-friends. As a wise woman, do what Mary, the mother of Jesus did, she kept those things in her heart. That is some great wisdom.
5. Use Correction Wisely: Can you correct without injuring? Can you critique to inspire instead of criticizing to despair? Learn the art of correcting a man without making him feel like a 3 year old that just peed on the salad. As with anyone else, make sure you have two sincere and true compliments for every one correction you have to make. Also, if he was wrong, make sure you clearly point out what the mistake was and how you would like it done next time. Don't be ambiguous. Please remember, if he wants to make it up right away, LET HIM!
6. SAY what you want: Men are mind readers. Yes, they are. In those Mexican soaps. It takes time for a man to grow in intuition and learn what a woman wants and how she wants it (No pun intended). In the meantime, make your wishes clear. Always spell out clearly w-h-a-t  y-o-u  w-a-n-t. Don't make assumptions, or let him make a choice, then when he does, bite his head off. If you want the dishes done before bedtime, say that. He may be thinking of doing that in the morning...
7. Stand By Him in Public. Always:  That doesn't mean you agree with everything he does, far from it. But it means you have enough sense to know that you are your man's number 1 ally publicly. You call him out in private and point out the mess then, but never correct a man in public. That's what bedrooms are for. When your man knows you have his back 100%, you will be amazed at what it will do to him and his sense of confidence. You will be amazed at the amount of influence over him he will let you have. A man will entrust you with his soul if you stand by him and cover him publicly. That's a sure winner.
Women MUST learn to talk to their men. It's a sure way to get that relationship far and give it what it needs to be healthy, strong, loving and most importantly, productive for both of them.

I'm just sayin...