The Father Factor

Fathers are significant. You don't have to look very far to notice that. They bring a sense of stability and an equilibrium to society. Anyone that downplays their role is obviously not in touch with reality or having serious issues. It's part of the reason i truly have a hard time with modern day sitcoms portrayal of the dad. He's painted as an overweight, slow, ignorant or even stupid jack-ass.
It bothers me for two things, one, while there maybe men who tend to let themselves go once they become fathers, the majority of fathers groom themselves. Secondly, when the image of the father is constantly beat down and ridiculed, society looses respect for this incredible men.
As a father, i guess i'm speaking to men in my generation that are passionate about fathering. It's right to love our wives and take care of them. Absolutely.
It's right to NOT sleep around, and be faithful to that one woman till death.
It's right to love our sons and daughters, and let them know without doubt that they are loved and cherished
It's right for us to fight our fathers demon's that may try to haunt and break down our will to be good fathers.
Fathers provide a couple of things, which i consider to be of incredible significance to life.
1. Stability: A survey among elephants in Mpumalanga game reserve in SA found that young male elephants that were rowdy, pulling down trees and even killing others calmed down and totally behaved when Big, father, male elephants were introduced to the heards.
I'll never forget what i saw growing up when fathers died leaving teenagers with their moms. Almost immediately things headed south. Boys doing their thing, girls getting pregnant... it's a sad statistic. Can you almost remember how the critters sounded loud at night when dad was away? Fathers do bring stability in the home. They help point us in the right direction by giving a family masterplan and leading the way in following it. Even rebellious teenagers appreciate it when boundaries are defined and their lives structured by a man that's been there before.
2. Identity: God designed it for fathers to name their children. Think about it. Your last name is your fathers. That's where your identity comes from. But it goes much deeper than that. Fathers tell you who you are. They will define you by what they speak over you. You know the sexual identity crisis going on is as a result of either sexual abuse or, and primarily so, fathers not telling their children who they are.
 I must tell my daughters who they are, they are women, they are unique, capable, loved, awesome, have a great destiny, and a future as WOMEN who will influence the world. TV, Magazines, Friends, and so on should find my daughters and sons knowing who they are waaaay before they are open to confusion over their identity. The same applies to my sons. I must impart into them a name, an identity and an affirmation of their value, worth and purpose before anyone else does it.
Fathers are Crucial, Men are sooo vital in this society in ways more than providing seed and running off neglecting their lineage.
I've found great healing and settling of my own identity in my adult life from men that took me in and fathered me. Spoke into my life and pointed me where i needed to be headed.
I think the madness with our society's obssesion with overt sex, neglect, infidelity, 'empowered women' and the independent woman are all a direct result of fathers abdicating their role.
I think this generation and the ones to come will benefit greatly when men take up their place as fathers and fight for the ones they both love and care for.
And for the ones currently in need of father influences in their lives being proactive in finding men that will unashamedly take that role in their lives. We can change a generation!
I'm just saying....

Comments

Life Signatures said…
The Father Factor is a very crucial element in life. Just watched T.D. Jake's DVD titled 'Hagar's Baby'...I was reduced to puddles. What I do is that I shut down all the potryals of the media these days about the father...and I fuel my life with positive, idealistic sources such as the Bible, He-motions, Tender Warrior..and Wild at Heart.
Great read Pastor Wa.
Baraka.
Unknown said…
hey Pastor WA , i love your blog especially on the father factor . it speaks tones and tones into my life especially because dad left mum to handle all the family responsibilities and i hurt a lot from it .God bless you as you speak into our lives .Caren
Unknown said…
Hi Pastor Wa, I love this article. There is a great book written by Thomas Moore called Care of the soul.

He says the exact same things and more on fatherhood. thank you for sharing-jacki
Unknown said…
This is indeed an awesome read. My folks split up and since then as a guy it has been hard for me to shape up to being a man. All the "manly" stuff I know to do is because i learnt from other men but not my dad. I ache to be a father and the fear of failing as one keeps haunting me.
I also need mentors in my life where to find them is the problem.

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