Of Women and Cats

Women, like cats, of course want attention. They desire to be noticed, they almost seem to revel in it. There are two categories of men, those that know this and how to use it, and well, the rest. It’s sorta like wealthy folk and the rest of mankind. See if you have 2 of anything, you’re rich. But wealth? That’s different. Wealth and rich are very different.

It's two worlds, found both in the mind, and the heart. For starters, wealthy people know what they can do, rich folk know and care about what they want. Their two world views are totally different. For example, Kobe Bryant is rich, but the man that signs his check is wealthy. He yanks the chain however he wants, and has the green to back up his whims.

Back to felines women, the attention thingie doesn't go away. It's hard coded in them. From the moment Johnny Bravo Adam woke up and mumbled 'Oh mama', Men have always noticed women. And women DO want to be noticed. I'm not God, so i'm gonna steer clear of trying to explain the logic behind why He made people that way, but knowing how it plays out in relationships can be a rewarding experience, and It's not just about trying to figure women out for games sake, it's about successful relationships.

The lingering problem is that attention is read differently among the sexes.

It's understood on two entirely different levels. While women need attention for affirmation, Men read sexual invitation.

'Come baby come'

It's important to tell these two apart. Quite a few brothers have made a shoe of themselves for missing the clues and not knowing how to read and interpret the signs.

Ask any married man how many times they've been told, "When I ask you to hold me, I’m not asking you to start trying to have sex, I need you to just HOLD me. Period. No?

While this makes perfect sense to any woman, Men have a hard time trying to decipher it.

Here is what in a woman’s mind she’s processing. She is saying; 

Notice me. Feel me, feel my heart and my circumstance. Come join me as I try deal with this situation, and with my troubled emotions. Be with me. You are my friend, my man, and my hero. Come enter my world, Let me know you are there; that you notice my pain, my joy, my sadness, my victories, and my frailty. Come share my moments and my life.

Even I can’t even believe I wrote that! 

Since that statement up there doesn’t make sense to a man; at least not when he’s holding an emotional woman, I won’t even try and tell you what’s normally going on in a man’s mind at that moment. Story for another day, perhaps.

But, it's important to know, and to be available, when your woman needs you to notice her. It’s important to pay attention. Notice the word pay here. It means attention is something that might cost you. Men don’t give attention to details easily, especially emotional details. They wear us down quickly. We’d rather be out trying to hunt something, or achieve something ‘tangible’ rather than process emotions with a woman.

Even then, when we are able to slow down, and engage. When we are willing to  ‘Pay’ the price of attention, our women win. Their need for attention is not always some selfish all consuming black-hole we should all run away from, it’s rather an indication of a need and an opportunity to be attention 'generous'. 

Listen, observe, nod and agree, hold, listen some more, say yes, maintain eye contact, offer a shoulder, be a gentleman, observe, listen some more. NOT offer solutions, please, just listen.

Soon enough, and as sudden as the need for attention surfaced, she will be fine. And, you will have scored big points at that.

Sounds too hard? Well, being skilled at your relationships and happiness in them takes work, and costs much. But the returns you get? Out of this world

I’m just saying…

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