Nice Chic or Good Woman?

There is a question every single woman that has been in a couple of ‘potential relationships’ that for one reason or another fail to materialize asks themselves, I’m I just a good chic or a good woman?

How she will answer this question holds the key to understanding why some women seem to be husband magnets while others just have to keep holding out hope forever.

The answer in my mind is simple. While I don’t claim to be a master of this boy meets girl thing by any degree of the word, (there are those well versed with it much more than I); I do know one thing. When a man wants to settle down, he simply looks for a good woman.

Not a nice chic. Because while nice chics are just that, nice, a good woman is SAFE.

Nice chics are for going out, hanging out with, doing fun stuff, friendship and talk, and just do things with.

A good woman? That’s someone a guy wants to live life with

So, what’s the difference? I’m glad you asked.

First, let’s define marriage in a man’s language. And you may be surprised it’s not the usual relationship jargon and romantic lingo people keep ranting about.

When a man wants to settle down; he will simply go to the safest place on earth. The safest person and place that gives him a sense of sanity, stability, and an assurance from his fears. Where he knows he will be OK. Truth is, only one woman fits the bill. Because only one really did this for him. His Dear mama!

 I have a theory on men and their marriage choices; Every man is looking for his mama in the woman he wants to marry. And what mama gave him, He’s gonna look for in a woman he wants to live with.  Which is basically a sense of safety, stability and care. To men, marriage is a huge investment. He will invest his life’s work, emotions, love, money, future, kids… basically everything that holds his world together. And he ain’t gonna do that with a ‘risky’ woman. Nope. No way, hapana. Nada, Ah ah. Ain’t gonna happen.

Risk is for play, safe is for investment. Risky is for now, safe is for keeps. And the thing is, nice chic is a risky affair. At least to the jamaa on the street.

And, Marriage is an investment to any man. Sorry, but that’s how we process. That’s why men will flee their own home when the returns they expected, I’m talking love, respect, care, challenge, fulfillment and joy are taken out of the equation. He will hide himself in a career/job/woman…. Whatever else that ticks his fancy.

So let’s see what a nice chic is and is not. Ladies, and gentlemen, Lean forward. Ready? Go!

Nice Chic (Please notice what she is Not, that’s where the key lies)

1.       The ‘fun’ woman, she is spontaneous but not consistent

2.       She is the hip girl, not the homely one

3.       She is smooth, not gentle

4.       She is sensual, not charming

5.       She is pricey, not priceless

6.       She has power not influence

7.       She can make you feel, not feel you

8.       She is with you, not for you

9.       She’ll spend with your life, not life with you

10.   She loves you, not your world

And What she is not, is what makes a woman a good one. Good enough for a guy to sit back and think about you and him; (When he is weighing his options on who to go for-Yeah they all consider 3 or 4. Not just you alone!)

The paradox is, Most good women, will have the same qualities as the nice chic, no doubt... I mean, that’s a pretty obvious fact. However! The key to the good woman is what the nice chic is not.

Here’s the remix. The good woman is; consistent, homely, gentle, charming, priceless, influential, feels you, is for you, lives life with you, and loves and can handle your world. Period!

Got it? What the nice chic is not, the good woman is. And that, for men, is a HUGE deal.

Huge enough to cause a delay or even a change of mind when it comes to popping the question!

I’m just saying!